i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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