Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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