so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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