That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
