How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
