I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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