dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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