So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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