I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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