My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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