This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
