just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sober January is a disaster.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is the high leading the old right now
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
