Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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