wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize