you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
well, you know. whores of a feather.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize