You made me cry and you don't even care
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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