god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
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She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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