they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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