You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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