2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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