I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
