I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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