the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
