two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
