If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
