do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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