I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
