8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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