Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
