I think im going to throw up on grandma
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
