Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
