Duck Duck Cougar?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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