can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
