did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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