yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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