We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
