somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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