Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
did i walk over a car last night?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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