You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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