What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
