How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The uberlube is also flammable
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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