Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
