i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
