The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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