I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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