drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
