...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
