my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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