i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
