i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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