Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
