Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
