If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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