Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Green mimosas i think yes
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
