i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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