I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
