She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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