last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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