Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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