I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize