She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
