today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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